Not long ago, autistic and other special-needs children in Israel's haredi (ultra-Orthodox) communities were often kept in the shadows. Parents feared this "defect" in their family would prevent their other children from finding good marriage partners.

 

That attitude is rapidly changing for the better, as evidenced by the scores of haredi parents who took the time to attend a daylong Jerusalem conference on "Improving the Lives of Autistic Youngsters & Young Adults" in December 2011. "We thought we'd get 500, but more than 2,000 people came, from the south to the north," says Rabbi Chaim Perkal, founder & CEO of Alei Siach/Kamocha, a non-profit service organization for haredi kids and adults with autism and Down syndrome. "There was a thirst to hear what the panelists had to say."

 

Having worked in the field since 1990, and with two disabled children of his own, Rabbi Perkal sensed the time had arrived for such a conference. Yet he was startled to see just how many parents, educators, therapists and volunteers turned out for the first-time event. It was co-sponsored by more than 25 organizations that cater to some 75,000 national-religious and haredi special-needs clients, in cooperation with the Jerusalem Municipality, the Israeli ministries of social welfare and health, and the National Insurance Institute.

 

"This is a significant milestone, and the message conveyed here is clear: We do not have to be ashamed!" said Rabbi Perkal. "There is no difference between the limitation that a person has when he does not see well and the limitation a person has when he is born with mental disabilities. In both cases, the child can reach satisfactory results if given the proper tools to face life."

 

 

Many in the audience wiped stray tears as they listened to the speakers address topics close to their hearts, Rabbi Perkal reports. "There was something electric in the air. Parents wanted to hear all the information they could receive from panelists. One of the speakers was autistic himself, but the way he presented himself you wouldn't know it," says Rabbi Perkal.

 

Speakers offered information on new trends and methods, outreach programs and testing. "The parents want and need to be integrated into the professional special-needs community after years of being in hiding," says Rabbi Perkal, "especially parents from periphery communities that don't have access to as many services as in the cities." Rabbi Perkal pointed out that it's harder for haredi parents to get information since most of them choose not to have Internet access in their homes. 

 

An exhibition area displayed products designed to aid children and adults with various disabilities, and a soft-drink booth was manned by autistic boys to demonstrate how it's possible to involve special children in everyday life.

 

 

 

One of the sessions was held in English for immigrant parents. Titled "How New Innovative Technologies and Techniques are Dramatically Improving the Lives of ASD [autism spectrum disorder] Children and Young Adults," it was led by Dr. Joshua Weinstein, president and founder of New York-based iCare4Autism, which is building a global autism research center in Jerusalem; and Vida Rier, a specialist in early childhood intervention at Sulam Special Education Network in Israel.

 

Rabbi Perkal says that many haredi families from English-speaking countries move to Israel specifically to take advantage of the services offered for their autistic children that they cannot find elsewhere. "Families outside Israel call us all the time, because there aren't enough solutions for the physical, social and emotional problems they face," says Rabbi Perkal. Alei Siach offers sheltered housing, job training and placement services, day care and respite care for people of all ages with autism, Down syndrome and other special needs.

 

 

One of its unique programs is Special University, which offers higher education courses for Israeli adults with learning and developmental disabilities. The program was started 10 years ago by Beit Issie Shapiro, a Ra'anana-based organization for people with special needs. Last year, Beit Issie partnered with Alei Siach to adapt Special University for the haredi community.

 

In weekly gender-separate classes at a haredi college in Jerusalem, dozens of participants - including Rabbi Perkal's son - learn college-level psychology to give them better insights, skills and strategies for adult life. The courses cover practical psychology, communication and assertiveness, decision-making, workplace issues and self-empowerment.

 

 

A few of the Special University students are also involved in another groundbreaking Alei Siach initiative that facilitates marriages between high-functioning mentally disabled individuals. It began with a prominent Israeli rabbi's daughter, who has Down syndrome and works for Alei Siach. "It was always thought that marriage was impossible for her, but if it isn't, why hold her back and take that opportunity away from her?" Rabbi Perkal says. Alei Siach found her an appropriate match, and the couple got married two years ago. They receive assistance with managing finances and other aspects of daily and religious life. "When you hear them speak [about each other], all you can do is clap your hands and wipe your eyes," he says.

 

Though marriage is a top priority in haredi society, religious Jewish marriage involves many more challenges than secular marriages, he adds, which is why it's only recently that such a program has been attempted. "Here, rabbis are also involved stage by stage." There are now two married couples and two engaged couples in the fully supervised program. "These are couples who have the capability and sought us out; we don't promote this program," says Rabbi Perkal, who received a Presidential Award from Israeli President Shimon Peres. Alei Siach also helps emotionally disabled young women who are dealing with failed marriages. "We give them an apartment and rehab services, and try to help them marry again," says Rabbi Perkal.